I guess I should be enjoying the fact that I feel physically fine. It's difficult when you have been told that by august (less than 2 months away) I should be feeling really crappy...possibly unable to work. I know my cancer is growing. I think it's unlikely that since I have been off chemo for a month that it has stopped or slowed down. I'm spending my time trying to find a trial that I may qualify for or read the research out there to try to predict which trial I would have the best chance with.
This morning I had to listen to my roommate whine. He wants to know what's going to happen to him, where will he live , how does all this impact him. I guess those are valid concerns for him. To be honest I don't really care. I am not his mother, he is an adult and he will be alive. I could not even find a response for him.
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Jill, Hannah and Kim at the FORCE conference
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 12/04. I did lots of chemo to prevent it's return. In 6/06 I was told that I had a new primary tumor. I was tested and found out that I was BRCA 1+. I had surgery and did more preventative chemo that ended in 1/07. In 2/07 I was told that I had lung mets. At this time my cancer seems to be chemo resistant. I had a Stem Cell Transplant through a clinical trial in 8/07. I had some liver mets show up in 2/08.
Jill, Hannah and Kim at the FORCE conference
2 comments:
Respond through your heart Jill. He is acting totally out of fear. I have seen spouses separate, children totally ignore the parent with cancer, and a mother walk away from her child. Awful? Absolutely! I have experienced friends and family detach before I am even dead. Hurt? Absolutely! But I won't allow their garbage take away the energy I need to heal. I imagine in my mind, connecting to their hearts, and I send love. I hope you have someone you are able to talk to about the hurt. Have you seen The Secret? One thing that was said is that if you hold your anger in it is like drinking posion and expecting the other person to die. Good luck. You are in my prayers and I am sending supportive love your way.
Jill,
Hello. I came to you via Leroy's blog. I've been reading your blogs for some time now and, frankly, I respect your command of language and your ability to articulate. You strike me as a very realistic person. Yet, I can see your need to reach beyond the realities of our illness.
For what it's worth, I am out here...a current/past survivor (1984 and 2007) and I think you have something to say. We all do. Some of us, like you and like Leroy, say it better.
My hope for you - Susan
(Susan Schwallenberg - Florida)
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